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And I realized very quickly that this less sanitized version of myself was not the type of "girl" these guys wanted to deal with.
One day, I was talking to a man who asked me what I was looking for relationship-wise. Once he got even a whiff that I wanted a commitment, he ran away at such a breakneck pace that it confirmed everything society had been telling me about straight men: They wanted girls who were chill, not women who wanted a relationship.
But I’ve also been able to more easily spot the guys who are interested in the same things I am. Those men also appreciate the labels and the boundaries. I may not fit society’s version of "cool," but I do think what I’ve gained from ditching that trope is a lot cooler.
Instead of treating a date like an audition, I now see it as a low-pressure interview — one in which I’m the person behind the desk instead of in front of it.
He said he felt like I was confused about what our relationship was, and that it seemed like I was looking for something more serious, and he wasn’t.
I was so concerned with living up to what I thought these guys wanted that I forgot who Maria was.The popular girls who the boys "liked" back then (whatever the hell that means in fifth grade) were the girls who would run around and play football with them.When I shared my realization with my parents, they confirmed that, sure, a lot of little boys liked girls who could hang.From the time I was in elementary school, I was aware of the fact that there was a certain breed of woman that straight guys preferred: the Cool Girl.I may not have known what to call her, but my fifth-grade self would sit on the swings during recess, in my dress I didn’t want to get dirty with butterfly clips in my hair, and check out the dynamics of the other girls and boys on the playground.