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Because trust me, if you can’t do it with guys that don’t turn you on, you’ll never be able to do it with guys that do.Dear Regular, Just because you’re not fully conscious of sexual fantasies doesn’t mean you don’t have them. ” Then take your answers and apply the following subjects to them: Location. If it’s a beach, say, do you want to make love on the sand, on the lifeguard stand or on the lifeguard without the stand? I just don’t know how to steer him in the right direction. Do you want to be submissive, dominant, or somewhere in-between? They’re the easiest and most powerful way to gain a deeper understanding of who you are and what you need. He spends hours under the duvet, sucking my toes and licking my feet, but I’m there, sitting up and bored.

Now what activity would be so out of the box for you, it might put you in a space to meet new guys, make friends with people who have gay friends or try a new hobby?

For confidence, you have to redefine the way you see attractive guys. That takes training (what, you were hoping for a few pickup lines?

Right now you see them as a goal—you either win or you lose. Right.) And by training I mean practicing the art of “icebreaking.” In future columns I’ll be showing you some of the “training” exercises in my ebook, Meet The Hottie In The Corner–The 21 Day Plan To Overcome Your Fear of Rejection, Master the Art of Icebreakers and Snag Guys You Never Thought You Could Get. For now, try this: Practice initiating conversations with guys you’re NOT attracted to.

It isn’t just about uncovering fantasies, but discovering them, too.

These are just a few of the types of questions that can spark ideas.

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